Expensive Lesson Learnt

I went and spoke to my therapist, Ann, today.

I told her I'm just so angry. I can't stop thinking I'm the victim.

If not for him, I wouldn't be in an emotional mess. I wouldn't have to leave my job.

If not for him, I wouldn't be asked to leave the second job.

If not for him, I wouldn't have to take a huge pay cut and end up sloughing in advertising because I couldn't get another job. 

If not for him, I wouldn't have to keep going to therapy.

If not for him, my eyesight wouldn't have deteriorated.

If not for him, I wouldn't have lost 10k in earnings, and spend another $10k on therapy and medication.

EVERYTHING IS HIS FAULT. HIS FAULT.

Yet he got away unscathed... how is that ok?

She told me how about take it as an expensive lesson learnt... I said ok

She then asked if I can let it go

I said yes, then she asked if I will let it go... I said unsure

and she repeated the questions

and I repeated my answers, until I said I will let it go right now

tears were streaming down my eyes as I felt so wronged, cheated and taken advantage off and the fellow who did it to me got away.

Ann said I have to learn this lesson before it becomes more expensive and costs my relationship with Jaime. I agree, last thing I want to do is to hurt my lovely Jaime.

I felt better, and Ann said do not revisit this.